Saturday, August 15, 2015

Shit I Won’t Have To Put Up With When I’m Retired

A Happy Place
When I started my first job -- 48 years ago! -- retirement was not even on my radar.  And now that it's so close, I can't wait!  People ask me, "What are you going to do when you retire?" and my answer is, "Not Work!!"  I have started a list of other stuff I want to do, and it's already into a third page -- and growing!

I've put up with a lot of crap in my working life, as most people have, and frankly I'm sick of it.  Writing this list has been satisfyingly cathartic.  It's actually a companion piece to my previous post on crushing morale in the workplace (the post is titled, "Ah! The Working Life").

Here's the list.  The items are in no particular order.  Sorry it's so long, but I had a lot on my mind.

People telling me what to do!  About the time you start walking, people start telling you what to do.  And they don’t stop until you’re dead.  After I’m retired, if someone wants to tell me what to do, I will politely, or not, encourage them to stick it in their ear.  Or some other orifice.

Me telling other people what to do.  Dammit!  I don’t need to be keeping up with what everybody else is doing, and telling them what and when to do it. 

Putting out fires.  One stupid little thing at work can lead to several different people having freaking meltdowns!  Holy freakin’ cow!  Get ahold of yourself you dumbfucks!  The world is not coming to an end.

Bosses (similar to #1, but more sinister).  

Mansplaining!  Oh. My. God!  If one more man tries to ‘splain anything to me, I may just go postal.  I know perfectly well what percentile my IQ falls into, and I don’t need some condescending, male-chauvinist-pig person telling me how things are! 

Other people’s shit.  I have enough baggage of my own.  Just keep your crap to yourself.  It ain’t my job to solve your problems.

Workplace snobs!  People who think that extra academic degree they have somehow makes them better than me.  There was this one person, back in the 70s and 80s who was like that.  And then someone pointed out that his initials were BVD.  You know, like the underwear brand?  After that his superior attitude didn’t bother me much.  He hated to be wrong, and he especially hated to be corrected by someone who was a) less educated, and b) female.  Asshole.  But there were things I knew that he didn’t.

Butt-headed administrators!  Or just administrators.  Adding “butt-headed” to it is just redundant. 

My alarm clock going off every morning at the ungodly hour it currently goes off each day!

Meetings.  I have always found most meetings to be a colossal waste of my time, and they almost never accomplish anything.

Being a go-between.  Unless you are related to me, by blood, work out your own damn problems with other people.  I will not smooth out your feathers or the feathers of anyone you have differences with!

People who know absolutely nothing about what my job entails telling me how to do my job!!  Seriously, do you also tell your dentist how to fill teeth?  Do you tell your surgeon how to take out your gallbladder?  And since you’re missing that gallbladder, where the hell do you get the gall to tell me how to do my job?!?!  Just shut the fuck up!

"Why do you need a master’s degree to be a librarian?"  Why are you such a fucking idiot?  Tell me, smartass, how do you catalog a damn book!  What’s involved in a reference interview?  What IS a reference interview?  What’s the purpose of a reference interview?  Explain the logic behind the Library of Congress Classification System.  How do you apply it?  How do you formulate a Boolean search statement?  Why do you do it that way?  What’s a shelf list?  I could go on, but if you haven’t figured out just how woefully stupid your ass is by now, you’re worse off than I thought.

Workplace bullies.  These are the people who are in positions higher on the totem pole than yours.  You do your job to the best of your ability and knowledge, and yet, these bullies, and that’s exactly what they are: bullies, are twisting things around (mostly in their own minds), maligning your integrity, calling you and your co-workers liars, and just generally being fucking assholes.  Well, Bully, if that’s how you get your jollies, fine; just leave me out of it and go screw your own damn self, because you’re not worthy of scraping shit off a dead animal’s ass.  


Now I need another nice picture.  How about you?

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Ah, The Working Life!

How to Eliminate or Just Simply Crush Morale in the Workplace

Harbor the delusion that you are somehow a despot, if not actually God.  Be arrogant; this gives you the illusion that being a despot, a.k.a. asshole, works in your favor.

Ignore the employees and the Particularly Important Department (PID) they work in, and do this for many years.

Deny funding for improvements to the PID, salaries for much-needed new hires, and raises for the skeleton staff you have left in your wake of budget-slashing and down-sizing.

Let the PID wither, despite the frequent requests for support from the people working in the department.

Wait for the impending site visit of the organization that has the power to soundly smite your organization.

Expect the PID you have been ignoring for years to cheerfully rally round to do the work of making their PID the one that can save your organization from the smiting it most definitely deserves. 

When the employees of the PID seem flabbergasted at your unmitigated gall, accuse them of “having an attitude.”

Threaten them with disciplinary action and possibly dismissal. 

Let your black, little heart rest easy by telling yourself that the people in the PID love you because you are their lord and master.

After you’ve done all these steps, go fuck yourself.

Monday, February 2, 2015


I went to the Bob Seger concert in Atlanta (Duluth, actually, at the Arena at Gwinnett Place) this past Saturday night.  My goodness! the man puts on a great show!  I had attended one of his concerts in the 1980s, and it was the absolute best concert I'd ever experienced!  But the concert this past weekend was even better. 

I went with my oldest niece, Shannon, also a Seger fan.  We ate dinner at a nearby restaurant, the Arena Tavern, and the place was packed with old farts like me who were all headed to the concert as well.  I spoke with several of them and they were just as excited as I was.  We had a very good dinner; mine was the best fish tacos EVER.  I'll never eat fish tacos anywhere else.  

We managed to get a half-decent parking place at the Arena and found our seats with the help of the super friendly Arena staff.  After the concert, it sort of took forever to get out of the parking lot, and then we stopped at my sister-in-law's for the night.  We got there after 1:30 am, Sunday.  Beverly had waited up for us, but after the quick introductions, we all went straight to bed.

Despite some irritations with the opening act and the two twenty-something idiots seated directly in front of me, I had a blast!  

The warm-up act was the J. Geils Band.  They were loud, with too much microphone on the drums and bass guitar -- the kind that makes your chest rattle.  Very uncomfortable.  The lead singer, Peter Wolf, probably drunk and/or high as a kite, was especially annoying.  But on the good side, the keyboard guy was wearing a t-shirt that read "Stand with Women," and the harmonica player was good.

The two idiots, two girls who had probably just hit legal age, kept getting up for trips to the bar, and frequently they'd get up and do something that they must have thought was dancing but the rhythm of their movements had absolutely nothing to do with the rhythm of the music from the stage.  I paid good money for our seats and it annoyed me to no end when they got up and blocked my view of the stage.  My sister-in-law said I should have just reached out and knocked their heads together.  That would have been very satisfying.

However... just getting to hear Bob Seger live again made up for the annoyances.  I read somewhere that this was his last tour, and if I could afford to go to another city to see another concert, I'd do it in a heartbeat!

Bob Seger.  Good music.  I'm a fan.

Friday, December 5, 2014

Anybody Remember Me...??

Remember me?  I used to post to this blog quite regularly.  I am obviously falling down on the job.  I'll try to do better, but for now, I just want to wish everybody: 

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Seriously, Marie, You Have To Do A New Post

This is Randolph Hall on the College of Charleston campus.  My alma mater.  Such good memories.

 The Dock Street Theater (on left) and St. Philips Church in Charleston.

This is Suzzallo Library, the main library, on the campus of the University of Washington, where I went to library school.  

Downtown Seattle, the Space Needle, and Mt. Rainier.

(Sorry about the sizes of these pictures, but they don't look good any smaller.)

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Spring! -- I Missed Most Of It

I've been sick for most of the past three months.

First, I had a little cough, so I went to my doctor to take care of that.  But the cough continued.  In order not to keep waking Richard, I slept in my easy chair for a couple of nights. 

This was not a good idea. 

I wound up with a severe pain in my spine, just below my neck.  None of the OTC things I had on hand would touch it, and I was beginning to be concerned.  Finally, I asked Richard to take me to the emergency room. 

This also was not a good idea. 

I was admitted to the hospital, but before that happened they determined that I had a slight case of pneumonia, plus a dangerously low blood sodium level.  They hooked me up to an antibiotic IV drip...

....which turned out to be yet another bad idea.

The antibiotic wiped out pretty much most of my natural bacterial flora and I wound up with colitis.  This progressed into a Clostridium difficil infection of my colon.  C. diff. is an especially nasty bacterium which killed off even more of my intestinal flora.  To make a long story short, I had diarrhea for over a month.  The prescribed antibiotic I had did not kill the C. diff. completely.  My doctor sent me to a gastroenterologist in the middle of my first relapse, when I was still on the same antibiotic, and he said to give him a call if it came back. 

Which it did....

.....while Richard and I were visiting his sister and brother-in-law.  We arrived at their house on Friday evening, got up and had a fun and fabulous morning on Saturday, but then Saturday afternoon, I knew it was coming back.  We had to leave late Saturday to come home, even though we had planned to stay until after lunch on Sunday. 

I called the gastroenterologist, who prescribed an antibiotic that does nothing but kill C. diff.  It was expensive, but at that point I was glad to pay it.  It turned out that the price the pharmacist quoted to me was the without-insurance price ($2,400.00).  It was for a 14-day supply.  Fortunately my insurance covered most of the cost.  Also, my scientist husband did some research and found a pro-biotic that restores the vital flora that C. diff. kills. 

I've been taking these medications religiously, even getting up every morning at 4:00 am to take the first antibiotic of the day (4 per day).  I'm feeling pretty darn good now.  I think maybe the gastroenterologist nailed it.  Of course, if he hasn't, there's another, yet-more-outrageously-expensive antibiotic to try.  Oh, joy.

I'm looking forward to NO MORE RELAPSES!!  Dammit.

Well, I apologize for this bummer of a post, so here's another spring-celebration photo to cheer you up:

Y'all take care, and avoid hospitals!